Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The Headache I Will Never Shake


"I Fall To Pieces"

I fall to pieces
Each time I see you again
I fall to pieces
How can I be just your friend?

You want me to act like we've never kissed
You want me to forget (to forget)
Pretend we've never met (never met)
And I've tried and I've tried, but I haven't yet
You walk by and I fall to pieces

I fall to pieces
Each time someone speaks your name (speaks your name)
I fall to pieces
Time only adds to the flame

You tell me to find someone else to love
Someone who'll love me too (love me too)
The way you used to do (used to do)
But each time I go out with someone new
You walk by and I fall to pieces
You walk by and I fall to pieces


For the past 6 months I have been feeling like a full cup, and the moment he is mentioned..I lose my shit completely. To be told he lost all of his love for me even before deciding to moving back in with me is the shittiest feeling in the world. A waste of life force and time I will never get back.
Holy fuck, this song just says it all. Thanks for the years of torture you've graciously provided disguised as good intentions.

I never want someone to affect me this horrifically again.
I never will let someone get that close to me ever again.
It's bad enough when men decide to abuse me in blatant ways, but this is truly unforgivable. A man that spent a great deal of his time tweaking me to his standards and specifications only to abandon me after promising he never would. The sad part is that I believed it was for a beautiful future he continuously dangled before me that will never happen. This nightmare will end soon, as I have issued him his walking papers and finally give up. The giving up part is not what hurts, it's unfathomable to me how someone could be so unmoved by someone who always put them first. You sir, are more of a vile creature than I ever could be. I need to be rid of this dense plague of futility and loneliness that weighs on me from the moment I rise to the moment I have to medicate myself into multiple nightmare laced sleep. All of the pretending stops here.

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