I often wondered as a child..
Is it better to be blind or deaf?
To never see the moon again
Or never hear the makings of a thunder storm
Which was worse?
It's been 4 years since I've seen my family
Yet I feel as though they don't even want to know
A single thing about me.
I spent 4 hours burning pictures
Of the people that mean the world to me..
Of the amazing things I have done in their absence..
I brought over some movies
That I know they've never viewed
I even begged to cook them foods
I know they've never had
I spent my days while I was here
Watching nothing but unnecessarily large televisions
With basic cable channels that I could have seen at home.
I got to see them buy a matching washer and dryer set
And of course they had to be red.
I also almost watched them spend some retarded amount
Of money for features they didn't need and an extra
$100 just to have it in red.
She asks me "What do you think?"
I reply " You don't want to know what I think."
Because I think that the machines you already have are
More wonderful than any I have ever seen in my life.
I think that you are spending a lot of money for no good reason.
I think that my clothes are clean and I didn't even pay for the machine in my house.
I spent 3 days having her say..
"Is there anything you want us to cook for you?
You miss the lemon chicken." I simply said
after 3 days of suggestion: " Ok. "
She says : " Pa! She said she wants you to make the
Lemon chicken." I actually said no such thing.
When it comes around to it..I also remember it having
So much more zest to it..with the help of ginger
Some egg noodles and a lot more love.
Food doesn't taste as good without the love.
She suggests we watch the movie "Orphan".
A movie she has already seen.
I tell her the big plot twist in the end and really don't need to see it.
Then she and I looked at some LOL Cats pics.
As I make my drink, she is on E-Bay.
I am beyond disapointed in my trip down here.
As I am uploading the holiday pics on to my computer,
I see all of these things that they have done together in this camera.
All the fun they have had without me..and it kills me.
All the things I wanted to do for them and with them got shot down.
I guess I am not good enough for them anymore..
I feel that I was brought here just for Pa..but he is not even him anymore.
He is a watered down puppet..an accessory that gets hugged and kissed
And is working his ass off to keep a "Happy Home".
There were no questions like: "How did you sleep?","How are you feeling?"
"Is there anything you had in mind to do today?" "Is there anything you
Wanted to show us?" "What's all this talk about pictures? Let me see!"
"Anything going on with your band?" "Are you still writing?"
I spent more time with my computer and danced my ass off to keep my sanity.
My nephews didn't even want anything to do with me. They just wanted my
Snacks and I know exactly who to blame for that.
I think I've said enough.
All in all, I am happy to have seen my father..
But I feel he really didn't get to see me.
I enjoy listening to him more than anything because he at least
Always makes sense when we speak to each other.
I guess this is the only way we can understand each other for now.
Now that I am an adult, I don't have to wonder any more which of the two things I'd rather be.
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." - Edgar Allan Poe
Friday, November 13, 2009
I was in the house and it is 4 stories high. There is an elevator in it as well. Our land lady comes up the stairs and goes straight for the ashtray. She drags me by my jaw onto the bed and codems me to perform terrible sexual acts on her..her will is strong the He enters and continues to finish her off as her body becomes whitherd and gray mixed with crimson as it turns her in to a remaining pile of paste with protruding waxy bones. Proceed to the rest of the house. Somehow in the animal room..the gliders got out, there rats I picked up that day had escaped as well and somehow there are now 4 or so cats and a pair of monkeys in the room. I watched the pile of cats somehow letting the a rat escape their grasp through the window. I quickly collected them and put them away but then there was disturbances down stairs. A woman clad in a tiny black latex dress was shoving glass plates to thieir doom on our black granite floors. The heights were dizzing and she almost fell past an unfished banister leading to our main hallway downstairs 2 flights where on one of the teirs i saw the escaped rat purched on a bar above the stairway leading up. She knew me somehow and dragged us onto the cold glass table. We choked the shit out of each other, asphxyating eachother with whatever we could find..pileing mounds of cake and narrow cream soda bottles in places i dare not say. I made sure she was screamin as I ripped each orgasm from her tremmbling, wet and filty cake layered pussy. She passes out. He calls a house meeting in the elevator room. We convien in this skylit wonder as the light pours in through intricate antique glass shining down onto beveled mirrors lining the walls. We are all there and He askes "What are you going to do?" I say, "Can I stay in here?" I look about the room and just behind the shadow of the path of light from the cieling are two moving doors on the walls that uncover a black marble walled, white marbled tub with the most beautiful pewter handles and spouts and an antique brass shower behind the 2nd door. I turn the knob and out pours brown water which turns to clear after a short while. Right after that I look through the one way mirror and see that we have an intruder..A person in a giant teddybear outfit whos Bear face is decayed and rotting. We escape through the door into the labrynth that is this house. We are chased as this metal object wielding thing narrowly misses us on several ocations. Somehow it catches me by the throat in a narrow hallway and He watches and walks his way around as he sees me trying to scream and as it always happens in my nightmares..nothing comes out, but that is not as horrifying as watching someone that you love not try and help you. I escape the bear through some manuvering and go back to my elevator room where the latex girl managed to find her way to my bed. I grab my sharpest katanna blade and my biggest one handed sword and I go after him. When I find him I go straight for his shoulder and pin him to the wall with the end of the katanna blade and with the sword remove his bear helmet. It is a young boy maybe no older than 14 with long black hair. He was left behind and tied up in the attic for about 10 year and sewn into the outfit by his wrists and forced to grow in that suit. The police took him away and as the door closes behind them, all of these people come out and conduct a party. The end.
Posted by Flux Fixated at 11:11 AM